by j9robinson | Feb 13, 2009
College Admissions Essays:
How to Connect with Your Reader
I’ve talked about this already, but here is more scoop about your college application essay “audience,” and it’s a tough crowd: college admissions officers read zillions of these college application essays and most are BORING, and get tossed in the boring pile!!!
If you don’t believe me, here are some quotes from some honest (notice they weren’t quoted by name!) admissions folks gathered by an inspired, veteran English teacher named Jim Burke.
As an English teacher, Burke says he often is asked to help students on their essays, and he understands that many of them are either way too long, do not answer the prompt and/or are just like all the other essays.
He quotes in a Web appendix to his book,The English Teacher’s Companion:
“Another admissions officer I interviewed said: ‘There are three things you don’t ever want to watch being made: one is sausage, one is legislation, and the other is college admissions because the process is sometimes so random, given the number of kids that come across our desks.
I read a thousand applications, each one of which has to have an essay, and I give each application about ten minutes in the first read-through. Anything kids can do to connect with me as the reader, to make them stand out in that essay, which in many cases is the most important piece of the puzzle, helps me.’
‘When we read them, though the scale is 1 to 10, we mostly calibrate it to a 2, 5, and 8: 2 means the essay negatively affects the student’s application; 5 means it does nothing to advance the application; 8 means it moves it forward toward acceptance, though other factors are, of course, considered.’
If you want help bumping up your college application essay or personal statement, read my post on How to Bump Up a Dull Essay. Or, if you are just getting started, use my super helpful Jumpstart Guide.
by j9robinson | Oct 21, 2008
The person reading your fabulous college admissions essay most likely has already read about a dozen or more, and still has an equal number or more to go. By the 20th essay, they are having trouble focusing. Their heads are nodding off. They need more coffee.
So how will this person feel when they read the first sentence or two of your essay? Will they groan silently to themselves? Or will they perk up and pay attention?
The “audience” or readers of your essay most likely will be comprised of at least one or more members of an “admissions committee” from the college or university. They have been selected either because they are considered strong writers themselves, or have a heightened sense of who their school is looking to admit. 
I would say, don’t waste your time targeting your piece to any personality or demographic. Basically, think of your reader as someone with a mature, intelligent sensibility who mainly wants to read an interesting piece of writing that also tells them about an equally interesting person. Picture one of your teachers. A friendly one!
My main suggestion would be to keep in mind that these college application folks have read zillions of these college admissions essays–so whatever you can do to engage them is worth a shot! If you need help getting started, try my Jumpstart Guide.
by j9robinson | Aug 24, 2008
So many students have trouble finding an essay topic. It is such a tough assignment to be asked to write a short essay that shows what you are about. The tendency is to try to include as many cool things as possible–their good works, their achievements, their everything.
When students try to cram too many points or subjects into their essays, they become broad and the meaning and ideas then spread thin. Students who understand the idea of picking one smaller highlight or mini-story and use that to illustrate something about themselves tend to produce essays that naturally reveal something deeper.
Think of how water sinks into the ground: wide and shallow, or contained and deep. It’s one of those things that is hard to explain, but easier to recognize when you see it.
For example, here are just a couple topic ideas I have heard in recent weeks from students:
“I make a mean grilled cheese sandwich”
“The time I learned to drive a stick shift”
“Finding creme for my coffee at the Paris airport”
You can see how these students could describe these little moments and then develop them into metaphors about their interests and passions and show something about who they are.
Aren’t these so much better than “I love to cook” or “I am passionate about French”?
Read about how you can tell a story and how to write anecdote in your college application essay.
So, start small and see where it takes you!
Read this post on how to find a topic for your college application essay!
by j9robinson | Jul 25, 2008
I remember wanting to improve my writing in high school, and feeling frustrated by all the “tips” in the popular how-to-write books: “Be concise,” “Use action verbs,” and the all-popular, “Show, don’t tell.”
OK, but how do I write better?
Later, I came upon one writing book that made a little more sense, called “Writing Down the Bones,” by Natalie Goldberg.
Here is what she said about “Show, don’t tell,” that helped me:
“‘Don’t tell, but show.’ What does this actually mean? It means don’t tell us about anger (or any of those big words like honesty, truth, hate, love, sorrow, life, justice, etc.); show us what made you angry. We will read it and feel angry. Don’t tell readers what to feel. Show them the situation, and that feeling will awaken in them.”
And she goes on: “Some general statements are sometimes very appropriate. Just make sure to back each one with a concrete picture. Even if you are writing an essay, it makes the work so much more lively.”
One great way to “show” readers is to be specific with your writing and use details! I talk about how to be specific when writing your college application essay in this post.
