UPDATE: as of March 23, 2016 The University of California announced NEW essay prompts for 2016-17. Read about how to answer them HERE.
This post is now outdated. The information is no longer relevant!!
Looking for your World to answer the University of California Prompt 1?
A high school English teacher contacted me this week asking if I had any sample essays for the University of California college application Prompt 1.
She was using my guides and Essay Hell blog posts to help teach her students how to write their college application essays.
The teacher said she had my collection of 50 narrative essays, Heavenly Essays, but that I had not included what prompts they addressed.
She was right. I only introduced the sample essays as examples of personal statements. (It would have been too confusing to explain how each essay was used for different colleges and prompts in the book.)
Most were used for The Common App prompts, but many were also written for the UCs, including Prompt 1.
I told her many students end up re-tooling their Common App essay for one of the UC essays.
I told her how the idea of describing a world should be viewed figuratively.
A student should be able to say after writing this essay: “Welcome to my world!”
The idea is that they have written a piece that reveals what their life is like, or at least one important piece of it, and helped the reader walk in their shoes.
Related: How to Write About Your World
It also helps to read these posts that talk about how to think about the Describe the World You Come From prompt first, and then check out sample essays.
To help the enterprising English teacher, I went through the 50 essays and found the ones that either were used for the UC Prompt 1, or easily could have been used for that one, since they wrote about a world.
I sent her the page numbers, (some listed here) in case you have Heavenly Essays. They include students writing about everything from the world of:
- living with divorced parents (30)
- two lesbian moms (59)
- three older sisters (33)
- discrimination based upon race (45)
- an extreme religion (84)
- being a big guy in a small person’s world (21)
- ice skating (92)
- activism (98)
- excessive reading (114)
- theater (129)
- child of two shrinks (144)
- ice cream making (140)
- yoga (105)
- everyone shorter than you (111)
on and on…Wow, quite a World we live in!
If you don’t have Heavenly Essays, I’m sharing three sample college application essays below from that collection here that I believe will give you an idea of how you can write about your world.
No one knows exactly how far you can push this idea of a world, but I believe it’s hard to go too far out there.
If you think you are pushing it, maybe find a way to somewhere work in the actual word “world” somewhere–no more than once!–just so they know your intentions.
1. (The World of living with mostly short people…)
Duncan Lynd
Laguna Beach, CA
California State University, Long Beach, CA
A Small World
While grabbing lunch between games at a water polo tournament, I noticed one of my new teammates rarely looked me in the eye. Instead of taking the empty seat next to me, he opted to sit across the table. Even when I tried to start a conversation with him, he only looked down, and mumbled, “Oh, hey,” and walked away.
This type of cold-shoulder treatment wasn’t new to me. I’m a big guy. In bare feet, I’m about 6 feet 7 inches tall, and I’m pushing 300 pounds. Yes, it can be a pain. I bump my head going through doorways, I don’t fit in most mid-size cars, and I can barely squeeze into most classroom desks. But I understand that the world is made for average-sized people, and I like to think I’m above average. One thing, however, is hard for me to take: People who don’t know me assume I’m mean.
Like my frosty water polo teammate. I understand why he was intimidated by me, especially since he was one of the smaller players. I would have felt the same way. When I meet people for the first time, I often draw conclusions or make assumptions. Almost all my life, I’ve had to deal with the expectations and judgments people make about me just because I’m often the largest kid in the room. Ever since I was a kid there has been pressure for me to perform athletically because of my size and strength.
When I went to grocery store, random people consistently asked me if I played football. When I told them, “No,” the men always lectured me not only about why I should play football, but what I should be doing with my life, with my body, and with my potential. I normally just nodded and smiled, but it bothered me that they thought they knew what was best for me.
Not only did I never play football, but I defied many of the assumptions people made about me. How many people my size love nothing more than mixing up a chocolate batter, and decorating a three-layer cake? Beside my passion for baking, I also love working with little kids. For the last two summers, I volunteered at a camp where I taught kids how to surf. My nickname was Teddy Bear. And if I wanted to make my friends fall on the ground laughing, I reminded them of my dream to learn to play the violin.
In general, I ignore what people say to me or think about me when it comes to my size. Instead of reacting, I usually just give them a smile. On many levels, there are advantages to towering over most of the world. I always get the front seat since I don’t fit in the back. No one even dares call “shotgun.” I usually have the best seat in the house, whether it’s a rock concert or a ball game, no matter where I sit. And if people are getting rowdy and making my friends uncomfortable, all I need to do is step in the middle and simply ask, “What’s going on?” and they disperse.
Even the people who are intimidated at first by me eventually come around once they get to know me. Like the water polo player at the restaurant. Within about two weeks, we finally had a conversation and ended up finding we had a lot in common. In fact, he ended up as my best friend. For me, it is a small world after all, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
ANALYSIS: How can you not like this guy after reading his essay? When I met with Duncan, it was obvious that his impressive stature could make a nifty essay topic. On some level, it had to define him. But we didn’t want it to be predictable or cliché.
Many students have traits or idiosyncrasies that feel unique to them, but the truth is many other students share them, such as being a big guy, being super tall, having too many freckles, being clumsy, afraid of heights, etc. They can all make terrific topics, but you have to work a little harder to give them a twist or something unexpected.
After talking about his height and girth a bit, it came out that not only did he bump his head a lot, but that people made assumptions about him based on his difference. Bingo! That other kids thought he was mean just because he was big was a different twist on the idea of being large.
By sharing how this bothered him, Duncan revealed himself as a sensitive, empathetic and insightful guy. That is all great stuff! You don’t only want to share your stories, but also how they make your feel, what you think and learn from them. Then you will have a knock-out essay.
2. (The World of life living between divorced parents…)
Gabrielle Mark Bachoua
San Diego, CA
University of California, Davis, CA
Leaping Dancer
As my mom backs out of our driveway, I glance at the back seats to make sure my basketball gear is there, along with my schoolbooks, phone charger, and beat-up copy of Catch-22. We slowly wind through my neighborhood and over about a half dozen speed bumps, then pull onto the highway heading south with the other Sunday traffic.
I sit back and watch the familiar landmarks—the large Denny’s sign with the missing “N,” the short stretch of undeveloped land, the Shell billboard that meant we were almost there—flash past my window.
I’ve made this 20-mile trip between my parent’s homes for the last decade, four times a week, ever since they divorced when I was seven. I must have taken it more than a thousand times. Sometimes I dreaded getting into that car, and resented my parents for putting my older sister and me through the circular logic that moving us back and forth will make our lives normal because we see each parent often, but moving back and forth isn’t normal, unless they make it normal, which isn’t normal. Now I know it makes sense because normal isn’t ideal, normal is the unexpected and the crazy and the unforgiving.
I now realize that those rides were the consistency amid the madness. Looking out the window and down to the lane reflectors I think…about how on Friday’s basketball game my jump shot was off because I was floating to the left, about how I’m excited to see my dog and cat, about how upset I am because of Yossarian’s predicament, about how I’ll miss my dad, about how veterinary medicine is fascinating, about how I needed to study for my chemistry test, about how I will work harder to get into my dream school, and about how I’m glad that I get to take a nice nap before I go to mom’s.
I even remember the first time years ago when I noticed the smudge on the rear driver’s side window, which was shaped into a leaping dancer—a dancer in white. I would watch her move through the trees in El Cajon Valley, bob my head up and down to help her jump over hillside terraces of Spring Valley, and keep her from crashing into the Westfield mall sign two miles from my mom’s home.
It was those hours I spent thinking silently to myself when I learned more about who I am, where I envision myself going, and what my role is in this world. Sitting in the front seat, I’d take a moment to look back to see that same dancer in white, however faceless, nameless, and abstract, gave me a sense of comfort. That even though I wasn’t really ‘home,’ I still was, because home isn’t simply where you rest your head, but also where you have the security to dream inside of it.
ANALYSIS: Once again, an essay like this proves that you can pick almost anything to write about as long as you give it a focus. In this case, Gabrielle picked a simple stretch of roadway between her parent’s homes. She described the weekly routine and drive with vivid, descriptive details, so you felt as though you were in the car staring out the same window.
But she used the trip as a metaphor for a meaningful time in her life, when she had lots of downtime to reflect on her life, her feelings and dreams. Even though it shares the pain of her parent’s divorce in an understated way, that’s always in the background—and we can tell it has shaped her.
If she never had the time to daydream and reflect on her day, who knows how she would have been different somehow, or those emotions would have played out somewhere else.
Nothing really happens in this essay, but it still manages to have momentum and hold our interest. I love how she personifies a little smudge on the window into a dancer, another metaphor for her own journey.
In the end, Gabrielle explored the idea of home, and defined it more as a journey than a destination—whether riding in a car for a commute between houses or a lifelong adventure.
I believe Gabrielle didn’t set out to write a “deep” essay filled with metaphors and heavy insights, but by describing a simple routine and then reflecting upon what it meant to her, she revealed herself as an observant, reflective and wise young woman.
3. (When a World literally falls out from under you…)
Luc Stevens
Laguna Beach, CA
University of Oregon, Eugene, OR
Skating Through Hard Times
I was in fifth grade eating breakfast with my family when the floor of my home gave way under our feet. We barely escaped from the house before it buckled into two pieces, and ran to safety before the entire hillside gave way. Our home was destroyed, and we narrowly escaped with our lives.
Six years ago, my family was caught in this terrifying landslide when my house and a dozen others slid down the side of a canyon in Laguna Beach. Within less than 10 minutes, my life literally fell out from under me. For the next five years, my family moved over a dozen times, often living out of boxes with friends and relatives. Besides my clothes and basic necessities, the only thing I hauled from house to house was my collection of skateboards.
Six months after the landslide, the city of Laguna Beach relocated us to a recycled trailer on a parking lot at the end of town so my parents could save money to rebuild our home. I see it now as an extremely generous gesture but at the time it was difficult. Living in this dilapidated, thin-walled trailer was definitely not the life I had envisioned. My backyard was an enormous parking lot.
As a lifelong skateboarder, however, that flat expanse of asphalt helped me get through the hardest years of my life. You see, I’m a skater from a hillside neighborhood and had never experienced such space and opportunity. I took advantage of the situation and made this neglected, dirty parking lot into a skateboarding oasis with ramps and rails that my friends donated.
We would all gather together after school as a release from the pressures of life for a while, practicing trick after trick, working to fine-tune each maneuver. Contests were created, videos shot, and movies made.
For the first time in my life, I had a flat area where my friends and I could hang out. Even though we didn’t talk much about the landslide, these friendships were both a distraction and softened the unpleasant living situation.
Also, balancing sports and loads of homework, I turned to what I thought of as my new backyard skate park at night to escape from reality each day. The sense of riding back and forth on a cold night helped me relax and persevere through my studies and life in general.
Numerous years passed in that cramped rickety, old trailer and life wore on dealing with everything from highway noise reverberating right outside our door to the constant rodent problem. When my family’s new, hillside home finally came to completion at Christmas last year, I was more than ready to move.
The only thing I would miss from my five-year ordeal was my beloved “skate park.” After moving into our permanent home, the crazy life I endured since fifth grade was now over and even though I could not bring the skate ramps themselves, I was able to bring plenty of memories.
One of the most important lessons I learned through all this is that I have the ability to find positive opportunities even in the grimmest circumstances. If I could find friendship, support and fun in a parking lot, I know I can find the upside to almost any situation.
ANALYSIS: Luc almost had no choice but to write about how he and his family lost their home in a landslide when he was young. It was such a defining experience—not just the terrifying event, but the long, slow process of “going home.”
I like how Luc recounted briefly the actual slide, and how he didn’t over dramatize or dwell on that. Instead, he picked right up on how he turned a bad situation into something positive. Like any good personal essay, this one has a clear universal truth: How every cloud has a silver lining (if you find it.)
Because Luc’s description of his experience showed us how bad things were and then the steps he took to improve them, he never had to spend a lot of time explaining what he learned. He only needed a couple sentences at the very end to share his lessons.
A lot of students who grow up in Southern California want to write about their passions for sports, such as surfing and skate boarding. I usually steer them away from these topics, since they aren’t very interesting to read. Luc’s essay is a huge exception!
* * * * * * *
Want to learn to write anecdotes to start your own essay like the ones in these samples? Watch My Video Tutorial on How to Write an Anecdote: Part One
Did you notice the titles? You can also learn how to title your own college application essay.
You also might find Essay Hell’s Pinterest Board on How to Find The World You Come From helpful.
If you are an English teacher interested in using my advice, ideas and tips from my books and/or this blog, I wrote a post on Lesson Plan Ideas for The College Application Essay to try to help you. Let me know if you have any questions or comments!
Would writing about my experience riding public transportation to go home from school, and travel everywhere be a good topic? I was hoping to write how my observations riding the bus shaped who i am.
Hi Neil,
Love this idea! JR
Hi,
I wanted to write about the ocean and how it has two sides to it. One destructive and the other reassuring. Any pointers or tips?
Hi Abby,
This could be a great essay. The challenge is to make sure your main point in the essay is about you–and not the ocean or ocean-related topics or issues. JR
hi, would writing about how I have live in three different countries and learning its language and culture work?
I just discovered your website and it is just great.
I have a private college counselor and she is telling me that it is important to weave in some of the accomplishments from my resume into my essay.
I thought the essay was more of a stand alone component with thoughtful intorspection and that sort of thing. I thought you were NOT supposed to put in accomplishments that can be found elsewhere on the common app. Does anyone have an opinion on this? I am answering the common app question about a content place.
Thank you.
Hi Sara,
This is a great question. I agree with you that you shouldn’t try to force in a lot of other things about yourself, especially if they don’t fit the point of your essay or make it too broad. However, often, when you are making a point about yourself, you will find examples of this point in different places in your life. When you mention those in your essay, often it naturally showcases other parts about you. JR
Hi,
What do you think about the topic of my absent father and how my lack of a male role model led me to define my own values and morals and shape who I am?
Hi Nathan,
Yes, having an absent father had to be defining for you. I would try to think of something specific that you learned about yourself because of this. The trick will be to find something that we wouldn’t expect that you would learn from not having a dad around. Stick with one piece of this issue in your life, so the essay stays focus. Good luck! JR
Hi,
I found your website to be very helpful. I have a few questions on my topic for the UC prompt 1. Should my topic be about how I have freckles and how that defines me as or person, or should I incorporate a more solid topic like my cultural background? I want my essay to be not as common.
Thank you (:
Hi Elleni,
Keep reading my blog. Search “topics” and read posts about how to find a great topic. JR
Hi JR!I’m a Bangladeshi expat living in Kuwait and I was thinking of writing about the Bengali community in Kuwait and how they have shaped my dreams and aspirations.What do you think?
Hi! If I write about how my family and I travel to a lot of places, would that be a good topic? I was thinking I could talk about how it taught me about a lot of different cultures and experiencing many new things.
Thanks
Hi Tiffany,
Writing about travel and your family is great, but too broad to write about it all. Focus on one small thing that happened during your travels, and write about what you learned from that experience. JR
Hi! I wrote a rough draft essay about my world being visiting my grandfather’s village in India every summer and how seeing adversity there shaped my aspiration to work in the medical field. Do you think that it may be too general?
Hi Shivani,
It must have been so interesting, but you need to find something specific that happened there, otherwise, yes, it could be too general.JR
I was thinking about writing about my couch and how its been the place where my mom gives me her life-lesson lectures as well as a place where I relax and where I learned things like how to read and also that my parents were divorcing. Is this okay or on the right track?
Hi Claire,
I love the idea of your “world” as your couch. STart by showing one of these lectures, and then maybe take us through some other life lessons and you can work in some of the other issues you are facing now. Great idea!!! JR
Hi!
I was wondering if my world can apply to my weak eyesight that I have had throughout my life and how glasses have been a necessity. I have the worst vision out of my whole family, and glasses have just defined me throughout my life. Could this be possible world?
YES! JR
I really want to write about my love for literature and how it has shaped the world I come from, but I do not know where to start! Is this a good topic? If it is, any brainstorming ideas?
Hi! Can my two UC essays overlap a little in topic? In both I mention dancing but the focus is on different ideas.
Hi! Can my two UC essays overlap a little in topic? In both I mention dancing but the focus is on different ideas.
Hi Lauren,
I wouldn’t say the topics can’t overlap a little, but in general I think there’s no reason they can’t be about totally different topics and subjects. Why wouldn’t you want to include two topics instead of one, if given the chance? The essays should complement each other–that means, if one is about one quality or experience, then the other should try to be about something totally different. The idea is to use the 1,000 words to reveal as much about yourself that is unusual and unique to the colleges as possible. If one is on the deep, intense side, consider writing the other about something a little lighter in nature. Or if one talks about an experience, then have the other showcase a talent or accomplishment. If both your essay mention dance, it might not be a problem as long as you are showcasing two very different parts of yourself in the process. But to be safe, don’t include the same topics in both essays. Hope this helps. JR
Hi, I was wondering if I could mention the fact that I have epilepsy for my college essays? For example, mine isn’t as severe but I have usually had many absences, a couple EEGs, and MRIs, yet my gap is always above a 4.00. Do you believe I can discuss how epilepsy can make it a struggle to learn sometimes? Or how can I broaden or elaborate on this topic because it’s really personal and when people meet me they don’t know I have epilepsy until I personally mention it.
Hi! I was thinking about writing on how I grew up on tv shows and movies like Hannah Montana and High School Musical and how that made me want to get into the major of theatre, but I have no idea where to start or how to format it. I feel like it’d stand out because I’m a black guy, and standing out is what I really want to do. Thanks for your help!
Hi JR,
this is my world and i want to know if its a good idea to write about:
i was born and grew up in mexico. my mom passed away when i was seven, leaving behind my little brother and i because my father was never there. two years later i moved to the US with my aunt but my brother could not make the trip.
is that too general? should i focus on a specific thing?
Hello! I have a few questions about my ideas for the UC prompts. For the 1st prompt, I was wondering if living in an atypical Asian-American household would work? Like how my parents were not forceful and allowed myself to make my own decision. Would this be a good topic for the prompt? Or should I focus on a different topic such as ? Do you have any tips? Thanks in advance!
Hi,
I want to write about my experience eating alone in a restaurant and how that shaped me to be independent. Would that be a good topic?
Can my world be riding the public bus and how the different environment of those less fortunate, mainly homeless people, has shaped my interest in pursuing a medical profession. I want to say how my passion for humanitarian work began from riding the bus and seeing people facing adversity, and this passion along with passion for science shaped my goal to become a doctor.
Hi Mr. Robinson. Would an essay on how my morals is my world work? In which that I act differently and I view the world, my friends, community, and everyone/everything differently. Should I do this or switch up the perspective for morals? Thank you.
Hi Hasan,
I think you need to focus your topic and pick something more specific to write about than “morals.” Narrow your topic down to something specific about your morals, and write about that. It could be great, but you need a clear point you want to make, and then specific examples to illustrate it so it’s interesting to read. Good luck! JR
Hi JR, first of all I have to say that your site is very helpful.I want to write about my experience during the period I was about to come to the U.S. as a citizen which actually failed this year(final year). So do u think it will be an appropriate topic?
Hi Keshav,
Your instincts are right on! This would make a terrific essay. Share what happened, and then what you learned in the process. I bet it will be poignant and fascinating to read. Good luck! JR
Hi! I had finished writing this essay, but I asked my teacher for review and she said that it was off-topic and told me to look tat this blog. I’ve been looking through this blog and all the comments, and I’ve been kind of stuck in one place: I’m not sure if I’m off topic or not.. So this is how my essay goes
First, in elementary school, my world is this small sketchbook where I draw whatever I want. I like art, so at the time, this was all.
In Middle school, I get my room, and I get to think, why should I limit my world to my sketchbook? So, I said I like drawing, but that doesn’t apply to images only. I like to design contraptions and so, so I build gadgets and stuff with rubber bands, stings and so on.
Finally in Highschool, I learn about the subject of computer science.(I didn’t know it existed) and I am fascinated immediately. Its just like art! I fill in my empty canvas inside my computer, but with codes instead of drawings. Except, the result is much more satisfying and amazing than just an picture. I now participate in online communities such as Github and stack overflow and take online courses and my world becomes infinitely large where I connect with the world through the internet
In conclusion, My world has always been growing and it has led me to love computer science/graphics.
Ok.. I ran out of spaces.. Continuing on,
So, I love computer science and am now working on Android Development. I hope to create my own app/program as a software developer.
This is what I wrote if I summarize it.. Would this work as my world as well, an world that keeps growing? Or is this quite off topic?
Thank you..
Hi Daniel,
I like your idea of how your world of creativity/design/drawing has expanded over the years. I would suggest that you make sure to also include why this evolution is important–to you, and others and life in general. Think: What is the main point I am making about MYSELF in this essay? I think you can walk us through your evolution of expressing your creativity, but make sure to reflect on what it matters. Good luck! JR
Hi!im not sure on how to start my essay. I want to write about how I had to switch from a school in a bad neighborhood to a school in a richer area. And how i got through the negative comments from others and not seeing my mom as much was rough. Last, how football was the only place that i could fit in, but as the years went by everything became easier….
Could you give me a tip to help me?
Hi Jake,
This sounds like a rich topic to write about for your world. Why don’t you try to think of a time, an example, (read my other posts on Anecdotes) of when it was hard for you at the more affluent school. Think of a time when you felt out of place, and share that, and how you felt, and then you can go into the back story of why you were there, reasons it was hard, how you dealt with the challenge, and what you learned along the way. Good luck! JR
Hi!
So for my first essay, I am writing about a sport I started in middle school and how it influenced me to study engineering. I also include my family/friends as well Would that answer the prompt?
In my second essay, I talked about the same sport, but talked about different aspects of the sport and how it displays my natural talent and develops work ethic.
If my answer to the first prompt is good, would these two complement each other? I really don’t have anything specific to talk about for the first topic. Do you have any other suggestions?
Thanks
KX
and the sport is very unique(kart racing)
Hi Kelvin,
The “world” of kart racing sounds like a great topic to me. I would warn you, though, of writing about kart racing in both essays. In general, the essays and topics should complement each other–that means, have two different things that they reveal about who you are. See if you can find something else to write about in your other essay. Just need to brainstorm some more. Read my posts on Find a Topic! Good luck. JR
Your website is really helpful! I was brainstorming ideas for my world and I was wondering if my golf team could be my world. Would this topic be too general and how can weave it into something more specific.
Hi Kayla,
A golf team can make an essay topic as “world,” but you need to find something that happened within that team that shows us something about you. Look for something we wouldn’t expect you to learn by playing on a golf team. Focus on something specific. Good luck! JR
Hi! for my UC statment i want to write about me having a baby in highschool and the difficulties it caused & my new life as a mom.
ive wrote two sentence options to start off the essay, which do like best?:
There he was, a little purple human lying naked on my chest.
Do you know the muffin man?
or should i start of some different way?
thanks!!
Hi Marisa,
I definitely believe you should write about having a baby in high school. How could this not create a “world” for you. Maybe think of one of the hardest moments you have had since the baby was born, and share that in the introduction, and then give us the background about what happened, how you have handled it and what you have learned in the process. You don’t need to think of a “catchy” or “cute” first line to start a great essay. I think it’s usually more compelling if you just share one example of what you are writing about. Good luck!! I think you will end up writing a beautiful essay–one that some day you can read with pride to your grown child, too!! JR
Hi,
I am thinking about writing about joining the cross country team and including that I had doubts and I didn’t think I even enjoyed running, but I stuck with it for 3 years and now running is a huge part of my lifestyle. Does this go with the prompt “Describe the World You Come From” ?
Hi Hailey,
You can write about your running, but I would try hard to find something unique or unexpected to say about it and how it was your world. JR
Hi. I’m wondering if telling the story of how both of my parents were imprisoned for 3 months at the same time when I was 16 would be too personal? It was a very significant phase of my life, but I’m afraid that telling a story THAT private in my application would reduce my chances.
Thanks.
Hi Siti,
It doesn’t sound too personal to me, and I think you should share how this affected you. Just make sure to focus most of the essay on you, and how your parents being MIA made you feel and how you coped and what you learned in the process–about yourself, others and the world. I don’t see why their situation would hurt your chances–in fact, this could be a great opportunity to showcase your strengths in the face of those difficult times. I bet your essay will be amazing! JR
Hi! I was thinking about writing on how I grew up on tv shows and movies like Hannah Montana and High School Musical and how that made me want to get into the major of theatre, but I have no idea where to start or how to format it. I feel like it’d stand out because I’m a black guy, and standing out is what I really want to do. Thanks for your help!
Hi! I was wondering if my world could be how I gained independence by taking the public bus during high school. My life has been very sheltered, and by taking the bus I proved to myself that I can be independent and met a new environment than I was used to. I also want to connect it to how I want to become a doctor because of this mother-daughter pair I met on the bus who are homeless. Does this work?
Hi Nicky,
I really like your idea! Go for it! JR
I had experience living in a foreign country throughout my childhood, and I really want to write about that. However, writing about my “school” is a little too broad, and I don’t know exactly where to put my focus on… I had to overcome many things, especially learning to speak in an another language but that happened when I was in 3rd grade, and I’m a little worried it’s too in the “distant past” to write about. Can you give me some advice?
Hi! I have been reading many UC sample essays and I realized that most of the essay writers talk about how their “world” led them to their decision to study a specific major. Is it necessary or will it help me if I write my essay in that way?
I also have another question (but it is regarding prompt 2 of the UC application essay): Should we only include one example of personal quality/talent/contribution/experience? Will it be okay if we write about two experiences or two personal qualities? Thank you! Your site has been very helpful btw! Love it!
Hello! I have been reading many UC sample essays and I realized that most of the essay writers talk about how their “world” led them to their decision to study a specific major. Is it necessary or will it help me if I write my essay in that way?
I also have another question (but it is regarding prompt 2 of the UC application essay): Should we only include one example of personal quality/talent/contribution/experience? Will it be okay if we write about two experiences or two personal qualities? Thank you! Your site has been very helpful btw! Love it!
Hi,
People often base their personal statements on something difficult that they’ve overcome, or a sob story. What if you don’t have any of these?
Hi Olivia,
No, you don’t need to have a huge personal issue in your life to find a great topic and write a great essay. Try this post: http://www.essayhell.com/2012/10/5-top-tips-on-finding-topics-for-college-admissions-essays.html
You just have to look a little harder. Best of luck. JR
Hi! I hope you are having an incredible day! I wanted to ask if this was a good idea for this prompt. I was wondering if I should explain how my parents are perfectionist and how they want me to be a certain way, a perfect child. But explain how art and school helped me to love my imperfections and realize nobody is perfect.
Hi! I hope you are having a wonderful day! I wanted to ask if this topic was good for this prompt. I wanted to explain how my parents are perfectionist and they want to always to be the perfect child. Can I explain how art and my school helped me to accept my flaws?
Hi Estala,
Sounds like a great topic idea to me! Go for it! JR
Hi, I was wondering if my world could how everyone judges the things I do and wear, and can lead me at the end that been imperfect is just how the world is?? I get criticized for what I do, like excessive reading at home, and the clothes that I don’t wear that are in style now, and if I could lead that to my major?
I was wondering for the first prompt about people judging the way I do things, and how I dress?? And than by going to my career.
Hello! I have been reading many UC sample essays and I realized that most of the essay writers talk about how their “world” led them to their decision to study a specific major. Is it necessary or will it help me if I write my essay in that way?
I also have another question (but it is regarding prompt 2 of the UC application essay): Should we only include one example of personal quality/talent/contribution/experience? Will it be okay if we write about two experiences or two personal qualities?
Hi. I was wondering if my part time jot experience in a zoo as a elephants’ excretion cleaner might be a ‘fit’ for Berkeley prompt 1. People around me keep saying that it was just an experience, not the world I came from. What do you think? I do not want to be confined in the “country, family, and community.”
Is my experience a better fit for prompt 2??
Hi! I am wondering whether I can write about my ‘tiger mother’. I may focus on some specific incidents when she taught me to be responsible for my own decisions and take cahrge of my own life. Am I answering the question? Thanks
Hi Kexin,
I like your idea for your topic about your “tiger mom,” I’m sure that was defining for you. Just make sure most of the essay is about you! Good luck! JR
Hello 🙂 I’m curious as to how these sample essays relate to the latter half of the essay, the part of shaping dreams and aspirations. Any insights?
Hi Anika,
That’s a great observation. Like I explained in the post, many of these essays were written for the Common App prompts, but I shared them because I thought they were also essays that showed different “worlds.” You are right, however, that anyone writing about their “world” for the UC Prompt 1 needs to make sure to explain (usually toward end of the essay) how that world has affected their goals. Usually, a “world” will help shape some of your qualities, talents or skills, and if you can then go onto to talk about how you intend to apply those to your future “dreams and aspirations,” that would answer the UC prompt.
Hope that helps! Great question!!
Janine Robinson
Hi!
I plan to write about my current study room, which was my nursery room as a child. In my conclusion could I state that I believe my world is bigger than that room? However, it is my world right now because that is all I know.
Hi, your website has been really helpful and I really appreciate all the information!
I wanted to ask if writing about how every time my family went to live in a different country I had to become my family’s ‘mouth’, like how every time we went out I was the one to speak on befalf of other family members, be an appropriate topic for promt#1. I wanted to connect this to how I gained independence and how this made me want to become the mouth of others as well. Thank you!
So I am thinking about writing about a specific time when I was travelling with my family in our RV to get the point across that I come from a family of travelers. Is that a good topic? Should I make it more personal? Is that a weak topic? Please help!
Hi JR 🙂
Whoops, I left my college essays for the last minute! I finished my rough draft for the first prompt, but I feel it may be too broad. During my junior year, I moved from my home country to the US due to financial reasons. I wrote about this problem as a hurricane analogy. My focus was education and how school was my haven. In both countries, education was the only constancy and I dearly clanged to it.
Would you please give me any feedback on this topic? Is it good? Is it bad? Too broad? Your blog has been very helpful during my application process. I appreciate you sharing your knowledge with us!
So I noticed that not all of the example essays you shared explicitly say or show how the author’s background has shaped their dreams or ambitions. Is it enough to show what you have learned about yourself as a result of your background?
Thanks for your time 🙂
Hi, I was thinking about writing about how I was born into a mixture of cultures (my mom’s spanish, my dad’s italian and i was born in the US). I’ve also moved around A LOT (ohio, New York, Connecticut, London, Milan, Verona and Turin) and have been to over 9 schools. Would that be a good topic?
Hi I want to write an essay to describe my closest friend could you please help me??
Hello! for this prompt, I’m not sure how to answer it. The examples don’t seem to explicitly relate to the prompt, which is to say the essays don’t say “I come from the world of __________”. It makes me wonder, how do you write an essay that clearly answers the prompt?
Hi I want to write about how my dad was sentenced to 16 years in prison when I was in the 3rd grade and how college was never mentioned in my house hold also how I had domestic violence between family members in my house that college is my goal to get away from everything that’s happening there also how I want no one to go through what I have so I want to help prevent it
Hi Jazmin,
Sounds like you have some intense issues to write about regarding your background and how that has shaped your life. Since there’s probably so much to tell, I would start by trying to figure out and pick one quality that you developed in dealing with your background. Then think of a real-life moment that illustrates what your life has been like, and then go into how you handled it and coped, and then what you learned in dealing with it (that quality you picked.) End with how you plan to apply what you learned–about yourself, others and the world in general—in college and beyond. Since it sounds like there was a lot of drama and crises in your background, you probably only need to give one strong real-life example (describe a time that was a dramatic low point for you, and how it made you feel…) and then a brief description of your background in general, and then quickly go into the more positive aspects—how you dealt with it and what you learned. In general, the rule for writing about intense personal subjects is that because they are so intense, you don’t need to overwrite them since a little goes a long way. In other words, your reader will “get it” pretty quickly with a strong example and brief description. I think you have a powerful topic and have learned and grown a lot from it!! Students who have challenging backgrounds (their “worlds”) should share their stories—colleges want to hear them, especially the UCs!! Best of luck! Janine Robinson
Hey would it be okay if I talked about my cultural background by talking about my trips to visit my family in India. I have a lot of random experiences from the constant power outages to milking cows with my grandma on their farm? I’m not totally sure how I would develop this though.
Hello j9robinson,
I have a quick question regarding the first UC prompt. So I come from a mix of a foreign culture (from my parents) and an American culture (being raised in America). I wanted to write on how these two cultures created who I am, and how these two cultures meet in my room (i.e. my room is the world where I come from). Is this a good start? Also, should I implement a specific moment in my life into this essay?
I’d appreciate your reply, thanks.
Yes and yes! Good luck!
Hi. I am starting on my college essays. And I was thinking about writing when I tried a new food while on vacation and how it taught me to approach things with an open-mind. I was also thinking of writing about my secret activist page that I have on Instagram for lgbtq+ equality and feminism. But I realized that the latter might be too controversial and I’m not sure which one to write about. On the Instagram account that I have, I wanted to do it because I aspire to possibly have someone say that “because of your account, I don’t feel like I’m alone” or something along the lines. I wanted to make a difference in someone’s life. I kind of want to write about both but I don’t know which one would be best to write about.
I want to write about how my dad and water resource change my view of the life. Is this off topic? If do, why? And how to stay focus while writing water resource?
Hi, I come from a military family and I live in Japan because my dad got stationed here. I wanted to write an essay about my experience going to the biggest music festival in Japan because alternative music is a huge part of my life. I want to explain how different Japan and America are in my essay, and talk about how my mom told me not to act “American” since it would attract attention. Do you think this is a good topic?
would talking about anxiety be good?
Hi would it be a good topic to write about how being bullied led to me giving up in school but then started trying to do better because of my mom’s family problems
Hey! Just stumbled upon this website.
What do you think about writing about how Asian remedies/herbal medicine and watching the role of medicine for my grandparents influenced me to pursue a career in medicine and watching cousins going into a similar route (going into grad school) Nothing drastic happened to my grandparents or anything, but just seeing the amount they need to take daily is something for me to think about.
Also, the 2nd UC prompt I would like to write about my experience with swim. I’ve done it for a long time now and I have come to realize just like the stopwatch, my life is really around the clock. So I guess I would have to write how I learned the importance of time and how I should make every moment count.
I guess my main question is what do you think about these? Anyway to make them expand as I am struggling after a certain extant?
Hi! This site is super helpful. I had written my essay but am still having a few doubts. It is about my mother’s struggles of living in a third world country in terms of education and her teaching herself things and then how that affected me because she instilled in me the skill of research? (Basically I love researching things) Is that too vague? off topic?
Hi Janine,
For UC Prompt 1, I want to talk about my heritage and how I have had a some difficulties with public speaking due to my cultural language. I talk about how this used to bother me because I felt insecure but I have taken steps to be more confident in my skin and accept different ethnic backgrounds. I do not know how to feed this into my academic interests. I am having trouble answering the “dreams and aspirations” portion of the prompt. My dream is to go into the field of bioinformatics (or any STEM field)but I can’t find a connection between my heritage and my future. Should i restart from scratch or how can i mold what i have?
Thank you.
Hi i was wondering if writting about the high crime rate in my country would be a good topic
Yes, but write about something specific that happened to you that related to that larger issue to make your essay personal and effective. JR
Hi, I want to write about my selfless mother that has raised me as a single mother and how I never knew my real father throughout my childhood and how I never had a father figure until my mom remarried and moved to the states when I was in eigth grade just so I can have my ideal family, sacrificing her entire life that she built and how he has become my dad now. Would this make a good essay?
Thank you.
Hi! I have a quick question for prompt one. I want to be a teacher, so do you think it would be a good idea to talk about how every single one of my family members is a teacher, and how it changed who I wanted to become?
Hello! I’m thinking about writing about an incident where I was taken advantage of, but when it happened there was also underage drinking, and I’ve also come to terms with the incident (which is the learning experience). Do you think this would count as an oversharing essay? And if so, would it be too ambiguous to refer to the event as ‘it’ and just talk about it’s effects on me?
Thank you! Love your blog it’s really helpful at this time as I’m preparing for the next round of applications.
Hi! Your postings have helped so much in trying to figure out just what to write for Prompt #1. I was wondering, though, if I should write about how being a stereotypical person in a stereotypical life has allowed me to see that I don’t want to be like everyone else, I don’t want to fit in, and how I don’t want to follow in the footsteps of my family. I think I want to write about the drive I have to be different and be the first person in my family to pursue a career in the medical field, but is it even a quality idea?
I moved to the US from England after my sophomore year. Obviously I wanted to write about this topic as it was such a big moment in my life. Do you have an ideas on a good angle to come from. For me, I’m finding there is almost too much to write about and I want to keep it concise. I don’t think it would be a good idea to talk about everything. Any help would be greatly appreciated 🙂
Hi! I found your site just now and it’s so helpful!
I was wondering if I could write about how my grandmother’s and uncle’s death caused by AIDS, and my young aunt(nearly my age),also diagnosed with HIV helped shape my character and interest in the medical field? Is this too dramatic?
Hi! I was planning on writing about how my mother has had depression and how I have developed it as well, but I need some guidance in how to make it showcase my strengths instead of my weaknesses.
Hello! I wrote my world as a member of the Islamic community and how the Islamic ethic of using human intellect to improve society as shaped me. I talked about how I learned about the ancient scientific contributions of Islamic scholars and finally how I want to pursue science and use it to improve my society. Do you think this is a good essay topic? Thank you!
My family is a big fan of traveling all over the world, and I’ve been to over 10 different countries. I could write about how because of this, one of my goals in life is to travel around the entire world? Would this be a good topic? Also, would this somehow have to tie in with the major I am selecting for the school or not really?
For Common App prompt #1, do you think it’s fine how I never really felt like a leader–I had low self-esteem and low confidence–until I saw how others were inspired by my leadership which motivated me?
Hi,
I became a professional surfer at the age of 14 and have traveled around the world since then causing a chaotic balance of traveling/competing at a world class level and my AP classes. This had definitely shaped me into who I am today and talks about a talent I have…I was thinking of using that for UC Prompt #2. Earlier this year I got diagnosed with graves disease and had to go through many trials in order to make myself healthy enough to travel for another contest by the end of that month. The trials were tough but I ended up winning the contest. My tutor thinks I should use this experience for Prompt #1 but I’m worried it is a little to specific and doesn’t encompass everything about my life.
Hey, I was wondering if writing about how my father never forced me to choose a profession to focus on due to being forced into a profession at an early age, and how that allowed me to experiment with trying different passions which lead me to wanting my own business?
Thank you
Hi,
I used to go to a boarding school. Should this be my topic? How should I start it? Any tips? Thanks in advance!
Hi,
am I the only one who think you guys are awesome! I have read most of your articles and they’ve been really helpful to me.
I’m writing an essay on prompt 6 question and I don’t know if I can get a peer-review team to help me look over it!