Got a Burning Question
About Your College Application Essay?

(Leave it in the Comments!)

After working with students like you for nearly a decade now, I’ve heard a lot of questions about these cursed essays.

And you are so smart to ask them.

How else can you figure out what is expected of you and how to write them?

Here’s a list of some of the most common ones I’ve heard over the years, and my answers.

I give both the short answer, and a link or explanation as well if you want to know more.

Please shoot me any questions you have that I missed in the comments section below, and I’m happy to answer it and include it in this list.


Here Are My Random Questions and Answers
In No Particular Order

Can you use “you” in the essay?

Of course you could, but please don’t.

In general, write your college application essay and supplemental essay using the first person: I, me, us, we…Avoid “you” (which is used in second-person point of view) as much as possible. This is my preference, and most editors I know. Save “you” for sales pitches, and blogs, ha ha. These essays are personal and casual in nature, but shifting into second-person moves too far into the reader’s personal space.

Click to learn more about essay basics.

Do you use the five-paragraph format for these essays?


This is one of the most important things to understand about college application essays: They are very different from the five-paragraph, formal, academic essays you wrote in English class.

Instead, most core college application essays (such as The Common Application essay) or personal statements are personal essays that use a narrative style, which means they share experiences and use stories to reveal something central about you to the reader. Your style and structure is more casual, you don’t start with a thesis statement and you don’t need to stick to a set number of paragraphs.

Click here to learn more about the style of college application essays.

What tense do you write these in?

The past. (I walked to the car. I wrote my essay. I won the race.)

Even when it seems like the present tense works, do your best to shift everything you write in these essays into the past tense. It almost always sounds better. Trust me on this.

Click to learn more about finding your essay voice.

Should you try to sound smart?

No, that always backfires. Avoid using long SAT words, and stick to common, everyday language. Write more like you talk. Just tell your story and share your ideas, explanations and insights using simple, direct language (in the past tense). These are not for your English teachers or grades. The point is to express yourself in an engaging and natural way.

Click to learn more about how to stay humble.

Is a narrative-style essay one long story?

No. In a narrative-style essay you share an experience or experiences to illustrate something about yourself, such as a defining quality, characteristic or core value. Yes, the best personal essays include short stories about moments or incidents, but MOST of your essay is where you explain what they meant to you and learned from them.

Click to learn the difference between a story and an anecdote.

How do you write about yourself and not come across as arrogant or full of yourself?

Carefully. Get out your stories and ideas, and then go back and read them to hear how you sound. If you start by sharing some type of problem you have faced, this will help you avoid crossing the line into sounding conceited or entitled. Problems are humbling. Also, have someone else read your essay to make sure you hit the right, humble tone.

Click to learn how to walk the line to hit the right tone in your essay.

Are there any topics to avoid no matter what?


But some topics require more effort than others to be unique and effective. You can write a phenomenal essay about almost anything, from your oversized thumb to your mom’s drinking problem. Be aware that overdone topics that many students write about a lot are more challenging to use to set yourself apart. Examples: mission trips, volunteering, tutoring, sports, injuries, etc. But it can be done—just takes more effort.

Click to learn more on topics to avoid.

Can you write about someone else?

Yes and No.


You must make the essay about you. Colleges don’t care about your grandfather, best friend or dog unless they have affected who you are in a big way.


You can include others in your essay, but it’s critical you make sure that essay and what you have to say is almost all about YOU.

Can you start with a question or quote?

There are no set rules, but in my opinion it’s best to avoid gimmicky first lines. Sometimes they can work, but I don’t remember the last time I saw a good one. And if you are using any dialogue in your essay (to craft your introductory anecdote, which I think work great!), try to work it into the paragraph and don’t have it as your first line. This is just a pet peeve of mine.

And steer clear of including quotes by famous people to support your points. Instead, make your own points, and support them with your ideas, insights and opinions. In these essays, what you think and why counts the most!

Click to learn how to start an essay with an anecdote.

How important is word count?

It’s huge! The school has told you what they expect of you by giving you a word requirement. There’s absolutely no reason you shouldn’t stick to it. In general, I think it’s best to try to take advantage of all the words you are allowed. Just don’t go over, or have an essay that’s so far under the word count it looked as though you couldn’t come up with enough to say.

Does it need a title?

I’ve never seen a college application essay prompt that asked for a title, so I don’t think they are necessary. In my opinion, they are nice to have if you can think of a snappy one. Otherwise, skip it.

Click to learn how to write a title for your essay.

When’s the best time to start?

Now! Get these done and out of your way, especially the core essays for The Common Application. You probably have a lot of shorter, supplemental essays to write as well. So get cranking! If possible, have these done before you start your senior year, which is going to super busy and fun!

Is it worth it to buy an essay or have someone else write it for you?

This may sound enticing, but you would be a fool to have someone else write your essay. No one can write an authentic essay about you than you, and colleges see right through generic essays written by companies. Not to mention it’s totally unethical. The point of these essays is to help colleges find students who are right for their schools. If someone else wrote your essay, that’s not going to work out very well for you.

Click to learn why you should always write your own essay.

Should you let others read your drafts or final essay?

I think it’s almost always a good idea to get another set of eyes on your essay. You can get invaluable feedback about whether your essay is engaging at the start, captures something about what sets your apart and is free of errors. Just be careful who you hand it over to, and let them know in advance what you want out of them.

Click to learn how to find help for your essays.

Do you like it when parents get involved in the essay writing?

Depends on the parents.

I believe parents who do their homework and spend some time understanding what makes a great essay these days (slice-of-life essays!), they can be invaluable. They can help you brainstorm your defining qualities/characteristics, and remember interesting and entertaining moments from your past like no one else.

However, if you have parents who want to effectively write your essay for you, then no, that is not helpful and actually can really hurt your end result. Also, beware of parents who want you to write only about your impressive accomplishments and feats, and make your writing more formal and academic. Many just don’t know any better. It’s up to you to fend them off with good information (point them to this blog!)

Click to learn how to manage your parents.

Do you need a personal tragedy to write a poignant, powerful essay?


But if you have had a challenging or even devastating experience in your past, it can’t help but have been defining of who you are, and shaped how you think, feel and value. Topics about illness, death, accidents, family crises have resulted in excellent essays.

However, you can write equally powerful and effective essays about almost any topic. So if you have an intense topic, consider writing about it. If not, keep brainstorming and you will find lots of other awesome ideas.

Click to learn how to find a topic for your essay.

Do you need to have done something no one else has done to have a great topic?

You don’t need to be super human to write a standout essay. You don’t need to be president of the school body, or scored a winning goal in the state soccer championship or been an Eagle Scout. In fact, these are great accomplishments, but they make yawner essays.

Mundane (everyday) topics are your best bet!

Click to learn more about mundane topics.

Do you ever use third-person point of view in a narrative-style college application essay?


Because narrative-style essays typically start with you sharing something that happened to you, most use the first person to relay that experience or moment (Example: I fell into the lake.) However, much of your essay will go onto explain what that experience meant to you and what you learned. When you share your ideas, insights and opinions, there are times your writing can shift into the third person to have more force.


First person: I believe helping others is the best way to learn life skills.

Third person: Helping others is the best way to learn life skills.

You can use “I believe” and “I think” statements, but if you want to sound more definite, shift into third person and state it as thought it was fact.

Good luck!

Remember, if you have a question I haven’t answered, please leave it in the comments and I will give it my best shot!